Someone shit on the floor
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
