You can't special order awesome
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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