She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
