I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
