Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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