we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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