Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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