When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
