remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
wow bdsm is so cute
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
