i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
