that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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