i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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