I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
