So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
