Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
