There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just high enough for therapy.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
