I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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