butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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