I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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