I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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