It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
they're like a gay fantastic four
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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