I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
