i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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