I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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