Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize