I accidentally burped into my bong.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
