office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
