Small penises have feelings too.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
