i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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