Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
