I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
babies were throwing up all over the place
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
