Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I understand Curling. That high.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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