She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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