Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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