Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
