Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Terrible idea I love it
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
