Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
