Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
