check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
