Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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