New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
