First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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