is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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