i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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