The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
