So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
