You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'd cum for enchiladas.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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