3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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