Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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