So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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