i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
