I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
