Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
