just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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