omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize