i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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