well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm at about main and main street
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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