He is an equal opportunity slut.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
