"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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