I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
