Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
